Difficult Day

Today was by far one of the hardest days we’ve had on this journey.  As you know today was the day they did the brain scans on our little ones.  Kaden has a grade II bleed on the left side of his brain.  This is not necessarily bad news.  The doctors will monitor the bleed with weekly ultra sounds and hope that it reabsorbs and “fixes” itself. 

Little Miss Karsyn is a different story.  She has a bilateral grade 4 bleed.  This is pretty much as bad as it gets, and is not good news for our little princess.  We don’t know/understand all the deatils, but we do know that with a bleed of this magnitude  over 50% of children have major brain damage.  Jeff and I are trying very hard to digest and understand what this all means.  This is obviously not what we had hoped to hear today, but we know God has a plan, and thankfully we serve a God we know is capable of working miracles.  We will love her and cherish her no matter what the outcome.  We know Karsyn is not ours, but God’s first and that he is in complete control.  Of course this is easier to type than it is to remember when you’re looking at your precious baby knowing the plans and dreams you have for them may never come to fruition.  So many questions, so many what if’s and so many why’s. 

When I got home this afternoon, a pastor from our church called to check on the twins. I shared with him our news and he said a prayer right then.  In the prayer he said “God we don’t understand why, but we know that all this happens in your time”  This was so comforting to me as obviously I’ve struggled with why they were born so early.  It was God’s timing.  He was ready for them to be here.  He was ready for them to come in this world and change our lives forever and to be that reminder that God is completely in control.  So even as we struggle we are reminded that God is with us and is holding our precious miracles in his hands.  Please join us in praying that  God’s will be done, but obviously our fervent prayer is that Karsyn rise up and shock the doctors….to defy odds and be on the other side of the 50%.  Please pray for comfort for our family, and obviously keep Kaden on that list as well. 

Where do we go from here?  Well, unfortunately it’s pretty much a waiting game.  They will be consulting with a neurosurgeon from TCH and will do  a repeat ultrasound at some point next week….possibly wednesday….to check on the bleed and decide a course of action.  The most immediate option will be spinal taps to try to draw fluid out of the brain to alleviate some of the pressure.  We will keep you guys posted.  Thank you for your support and prayers!